Caregivers of Older Adults

You see it everywhere “Keep Calm and Carry On” and like most modern day phenomenon, this simple statement  has found its’ way to becoming world famous, having been mentioned in news articles, television as well as trivialized on t-shirts and coffee mugs among numerous other items.

The mid-1960’s sitcom I Dream of Jeannie gave flight to images of rubbing that magic lamp found in a distant faraway desert and out pops the genie who could grant any wish imaginable. Oh if only that were the case – especially for so many caregivers with a multitude of tasks, often sandwiched between husband, children and an elderly parent or parents, always attempting to fit everyone’s schedule, often feeling frustrated, anxious and even depressed.

Every year during the month of November we commemorate a variety of very solemn and sometimes even bizarre days; everything from Veteran’s Day to Book Lovers and Sandwich Day and of course all the way to Thanksgiving Day.   Each of these days took some effort to be added to the list and means something special to a particular group of people.  One exceptional group that sometimes gets lost in the shuffle is the caregiver – especially caregivers of older adults.  Beginning in 1994, family caregivers were first recognized during National Family Caregivers Week, but it was President Clinton who was the first to honor caregivers as a month-long celebration, signing the first proclamation declaring November National Family Caregivers Month.  Every year since, the American President in office has declared November a month to recognize the challenges, struggles, and tremendous sacrifice millions of family caregivers provide every day.

It is the caregiver who will enhance the quality of life and relationships in our older years. It is for that reason that the Elizabeth McGown Caregiver Legacy Award was established. The award is named in honor of Elizabeth McGown who was a lifelong caregiver and inspired others to meet high standards in providing care to the older adult and to do so with great compassion.

Whether it’s a trip to the grocery store, picking up a few things at the nearby Walgreen’s or eating out at a favorite restaurant, I’ve learned many important lessons about going anywhere with my 91 year old mother.  At the top of the list is to remember that it has to be on her time, not mine.

"Some people complain because God put thorns on roses, while others praise Him for putting roses among thorns." (Anonymous)

It’s always a matter of perspective – isn’t it; another way of either seeing the glass half full or half empty.  I don’t know about you but my perspective often changes depending on many things including the amount of stress I’m under or the number of fires I’m trying to put out all in one day!  Perhaps one thing that should not change is being thankful - even in the midst of crisis we can find something to be thankful for and someone to thank.

I remember so clearly the day I asked my sister if she could stay with our 88 year old mom for just a few hours while I ran some errands and just took some time for a much needed breather.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister and we have a great relationship, but her response to me that day, “Well, what do you want me to do with her?” almost put me over the edge!  Not wanting it to become a family crisis, I offered some suggestions and didn’t look back, at least not until I could compose myself. 

“Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear" was a message that became widely recognized after an iconic scene in the movie Jurassic Park.   When the passengers in a high-flying jeep were trying to make their escape from the T-Rex chasing them, these words took on a different meaning and the need for a more dramatic and immediate response.

Rod Stewart was 33 years old in 1978 when he recorded “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?” his much disparaging song that blew up the music charts.   At the ripe age of 68 Stewart continues to gyrate across the stage apparently still getting quite an enthusiastic response from his growing number of fans.  There are vast differences in the world of a 33 year old and a 68 year old or older, but what remains is the need to feel good about ourselves – whether that means feelings of intimacy, feeling sexy, loved, or just being appreciated for who we are.