Caregivers of Older Adults

The headline read “Lost elderly man found disoriented 180 miles from home.” This type of occurrence is becoming all too familiar as our population ages and has more risk factors associated with different types of dementia which causes cognitive decline. Traditionally the very word elopement conjured up romantic images of a couple running off to some far-away place to marry secretly without letting family or friends in on their plans. Unfortunately, in today’s aging society elopement and wandering are often common behaviors exhibited when the disease process impairs judgment; thereby putting their safety and well-being much more at risk.

Whether it was a dog, chickens or a hamster, mom has always loved animals, but for the last eighteen years, it’s been Panchita, the parrot, who has captured her attention and her heart.  Mom would often say that she knew parrots lived long lives, so they could grow old together! 

The longer you wait in the doctors’ office for your visit, the more time you have to think about and agonize over what may be causing your pain or the amount of weight you’ve gained since your last visit and the list goes on and on!  And if your visit is anything like most, you will probably spend more time in the waiting room than in the examination room with your doctor – that’s just the way it is!  This is NOT the best time to begin thinking about what questions or concerns you have to discuss with your doctor and coming up with that list should begin long before your visit. 

How often do we see someone in a wheelchair or in a hospital or nursing home and not even notice or acknowledge the caregiver close by? On a recent Twitter Chat, the topic of discussion was loneliness among seniors and family caregivers.  The conversation lit up with comments from professional as well as family caregivers and their responses were often times heart breaking:

As you place your hand on the doorknob to enter a room do you ever stop to think about what you might encounter on the other side of that door? What will you find or experience as you step over the threshold? Anytime we are about to walk into a room what waits for us on the other side of the door may be an expected scene or perhaps something so surprising and unanticipated that it may change our life or the life of someone else! As caregivers, regardless of whether we are caring for someone in our home, a nursing home, hospital or hospice, we probably experience these moments of not knowing what to expect each and every time we walk through the door to extend care for our patient or loved one. Learning ways to cope with what often times is unexpected is an important aspect of caregiving.

The Lenten season always reminds me of being very young and knowing that I had to give up something I absolutely loved to eat or drink for those long forty days.   It also seemed the more I thought about it, the more deprived I felt and the more I found ways to sneak off with a piece of my favorite chocolate.  Thankfully as I grew in both age and wisdom, I realized that Lent was really a time for introspection – an opportunity to look within and make personal commitments to change, if only for a few weeks.  While we can certainly make those vows to change anytime in our lives; this particular time offers us the prospect of looking at transforming our lives in a different way and perhaps making it a lasting change.

By William R. Henry, Jr.

Huh? If this question surfaces frequently from a spouse, parent or friend even before you’ve finished the sentence, it may be time for a hearing aid. Accepting the reality that one may need a hearing aid is a sensitive issue and can often lead to years of frustration. The National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders (NIDCD) estimates that “one in three people between the ages of 65 and 74 has hearing loss and nearly half of those older than 75 have difficulty hearing.” The quote “Getting old isn’t for sissies” attributed to the late actress Bette Davis, sure hits the nail on the head when it comes to the loss of hearing. Not being able to hear can make it hard to understand and follow a doctor’s advice, to respond to doorbells or alarms, and also very difficult to enjoy a nice conversation with friends and family making it frustrating and embarrassing.

Women’s handbags can often make or break an outfit and no matter if the style was a jeweled encrusted tote or the latest trendy clutch; my mom never gave up on her “bigger than a bread basket” satchel. She may have given up on the high heeled shoes years earlier, but it was that massive purse we could always count on as kids when we had an emergency or needed extra bobby pins, our favorite toy, or a snack that we knew exactly where to find it. At 91 – mom has little need for so much stuff in her purse other than her wallet, house keys and a good supply of tissues, but nonetheless, the size of her purse has not diminished. It becomes quite challenging to manage not only her cumbersome purse, but her cane as well as very often holding on to a grocery cart – too many items to keep track of while shopping.

Change is hard for everyone, but I believe it’s especially difficult as we get older and very often find comfort in the familiar and reliable; the things we’ve become accustomed to over the years and in particular those time-honored traditions from our childhood.  So is the case with my very “only one way works” 91 year old mother.  Now I have to admit, there are some changes that are definitely more challenging than others.   For instance – she usually won’t turn up her nose at tasting a new recipe or even resist the new iPad her great-grandson insisted she try, but don’t mess with the votive candles she lights religiously every month at church.