Caregivers of Older Adults Blog | Stress (4)

Every year during the month of November we commemorate a variety of very solemn and sometimes even bizarre days; everything from Veteran’s Day to Book Lovers and Sandwich Day and of course all the way to Thanksgiving Day.   Each of these days took some effort to be added to the list and means something special to a particular group of people.  One exceptional group that sometimes gets lost in the shuffle is the caregiver – especially caregivers of older adults.  Beginning in 1994, family caregivers were first recognized during National Family Caregivers Week, but it was President Clinton who was the first to honor caregivers as a month-long celebration, signing the first proclamation declaring November National Family Caregivers Month.  Every year since, the American President in office has declared November a month to recognize the challenges, struggles, and tremendous sacrifice millions of family caregivers provide every day.

"Some people complain because God put thorns on roses, while others praise Him for putting roses among thorns." (Anonymous)

I remember so clearly the day I asked my sister if she could stay with our 88 year old mom for just a few hours while I ran some errands and just took some time for a much needed breather.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister and we have a great relationship, but her response to me that day, “Well, what do you want me to do with her?” almost put me over the edge!  Not wanting it to become a family crisis, I offered some suggestions and didn’t look back, at least not until I could compose myself. 

“Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear" was a message that became widely recognized after an iconic scene in the movie Jurassic Park.   When the passengers in a high-flying jeep were trying to make their escape from the T-Rex chasing them, these words took on a different meaning and the need for a more dramatic and immediate response.

Olivia’s mother lives down the street and has relied on her for help since her father died three years ago. Olivia is a single mom with three school age children who also rely on her to keep their household running smoothly.  Lately, she finds it difficult to remain upbeat, finds little energy for going out with friends or enjoying her favorite hobbies.  This lifestyle has placed a strain on her home life as well as her job.  Olivia keeps asking how she can continue on this path, what she can do to cope with all the pressures of caring for her mother, her children and herself.  When challenges and demands are too great, they drain our physical energy, time, health and money.  

So now you’ve joined the ranks of an estimated 65 million American caregivers (National Alliance for Caregiving and Evercare, 2009).   If you have recently become a caregiver for a family member, friend or neighbor, this may be a good time to do some serious thinking about what is expected of you in this role.  Although there are as many different scenarios in caregiving as there are caregivers, here are some tried and true tips that may help you get started.  First and foremost is to remember to take care of YOU!  The following link to the Caregiver’s Bill of Rights by Jo Horne is a good place to start because it begins with “I have the right…to take care of myself.  This is not an act of selfishness.  It will give me the capability of taking better care of my relative.” http://www.caregiver.com/articles/caregiver/caregiver_bill_of_rights.htm