Caregivers of Older Adults Blog | Caregiver Info (19)

As a caregiver have you ever felt "sandwiched" right in the middle between having to care for your children and a spouse as well as caring for your elderly parents?   Generally known as the "Sandwich Generation," this growing population is estimated to be affecting one in eight Americans between the ages of 40 and 60 according to a Pew Center study. This same study found that one-in-seven middle-aged adults (15%) are providing financial support to both an aging parent and a child. For many baby boomers caring for grandchildren is a further extension of this sandwich generation phenomenon, which may curtail retirement plans and place extra burdens on their finances. The bottom line is that most caregivers are caught in the middle when it comes to caring for others

It had to be the coldest day of the year, but there she came with her head wrapped snuggly with a beautiful brightly colored scarf, her long woolen coat that hung loosely over her severely curved back but with a look of sheer determination as she walked through the door of the chapel. I greeted the 90 year old at the door and asked if I could help her. Her old, but kind eyes looked up at me as if to say "don't you know?" I had forgotten it was the first Friday of the month and she had come to light her candles - after all that was what her mother had taught her and she never forgot .It was a tradition that had been passed down to her.

Being careful not to be obtrusive, yet feeling a need to assure her safety, I stayed quietly in the background giving her some time and space for prayer. As I watched her carefully light each candle, I was very moved by the beauty and grace of this woman as she knelt reverently in prayer. Even from my safe distance I could hear her heart-felt words - not asking for anything - but rather a sincere prayer of thanks for the many blessings she had received. It was not just a prayer, but the ease and comfort with which she spoke; she was having a conversation with a good friend.

The responsibilities of caring for aging parents are numerous. Having siblings to help with the day-to-day tasks can be helpful as it offers an extra set of hands, divided responsibilities as well as a close family member to talk with. This can be a blessing for many - but for others, the challenges of shared eldercare can far outweigh the benefits.

Shared Eldercare Challenges 
For many adult siblings, the childhood differences that we assumed were long gone seem to resurface in light of this new role as caregiver. 

We can more easily find information or support for primary caregivers who live with or provide daily or weekly care for an aging parent spouse or other older adult, but that’s not necessarily the same for the long distance caregiver. Today’s families are often scattered throughout the country and even the world making it much more difficult when parents become ill and in need of care. Therefore, the once a month or perhaps the Thanksgiving or Christmas visit becomes an even more crucial time to get a clear picture of what the immediate needs are and to try to anticipate and prepare for the inevitability of changes ahead. Perhaps with little time to take care of the most necessary details, your visit may become consumed with duties leaving little time to delight in the quality conversations and reminiscing that is so essential to your family. Unfortunately that is so often the case for distant caregivers who are separated by miles but with their thoughts and hearts still so in need of connecting.

Winter is quickly approaching and if you are a caregiver of an elderly person you are probably concerned about their well-being. As a responsible caregiver, you want to make sure you are taking the necessary precautions to make the wintertime comfortable, warm, relaxing, and safe for the seniors. There are things that you can do to make sure you are providing proper eldercare for your loved one. 

Winterize the Seniors Room/Home

If you are caring for a senior at their home or yours it is important to make sure the home is winterized. Check for cool air coming through cracks or windows. Check the heating system to make sure it is working properly. Stack warm blankets and clothing close at hand. Seniors are at great risk for hypothermia, depression, and falls during the winter months.

The holidays are a time of homecoming when we gather with family and share good food, good times and good conversations, but for people who don't live near their parents, going home for the holidays can also provide time to assess how elderly parents are doing at home.

Your parents may be fine, but when people get older, it can be easy to miss signs of poor health, memory problems and other issues that should be addressed before things worsen. Make your holiday visit as special as ever, but keep an open mind and a watchful eye.

Pay Attention

All people, especially ones living with disabilities, benefit from long-term care and support programs. Programs that provide medical care, support services like personal home care aides, and more contribute to overall well-being.

In a study by AARP, it shows the Americans lack a national solution for adequate home and community-based long-term care services. We depend on the state governments to fulfill the need. But few of states are prepared to handle the upcoming surge of older adults.

The study driven by AARP is called Long-Term Care Services and Support Scorecard, and it’s funded by the Commonwealth Fund and the SCAN Foundation.

Some of life's most difficult challenges come with the biggest rewards. Caregiving falls into this category. While much talk on the subject centers around the demands of being a caregiver -- and this responsibility shouldn't be taken lightly; it is a monumental, life-changing decision -- data from researchers, as well as insights from caregivers themselves, reveals some unexpectedly positive outcomes.

Time, Time, Time
One of the most common upsides of caregiving is the opportunity to spend time with a cherished family member who needs you. This experience opens up unprecedented bonding opportunities, as well as the chance to share stories, get to know each other better and create new memories. If your relationship has been rocky in the past, this time together can be quite healing.

"Autumn has come in its predictable way; the heat of summer is giving way to cooler breezes in anticipation of winter. Change is in the air. For all of us, the changing of the seasons is a reminder that we, too, must change. In fact, it is an apt metaphor for our need to adapt to the ever-evolving circumstances of our aging lives."  

Author Patrick Abore, Ph.D. eloquently captures the importance of paying attention to the stirring within each of us as the movements of the seasons call us also to change.

Just as the season changes when the weather starts turning a bit cooler and nights get longer, so do our thoughts change as we begin to reflect on letting go and releasing those things in our lives that may have become burdensome. If you have recently become a caregiver for a parent, a spouse or other family member, there may be many changes in your life; some that may be causing difficulty or anxiety. Perhaps the person you are caring for has always lived an independent life, but now requires help to accomplish even simple tasks. Think about how difficult it must be for them to adjust to these types of transitions in life - going from something old and familiar to something new and unfamiliar.