Caregivers of Older Adults Blog | Caregiver Info (24)

In the mid to late sixties the folk rock group The Mamas & The Papas splashed on to the recording scene with hits such as California Dreaming – remember?  It was several years ago while working in a university office when during a weekly luncheon meeting we realized that there were at least six of us caring for elderly parents.  What began soon after was an impromptu gathering of a support group we fittingly named “The Mamas & The Papas.” The group made way for a much needed and long overdue discussion about what everyone was doing to stay sane and find ways to better cope with the stresses and responsibilities of caregiving.  Word made its’ way quickly around the small university and before long “The Mamas & The Papas” group welcomed caregiving spouses and even students helping care for grandparents. 

The shift in medical practices often happens without much notice from the general population; as in the case of pediatrics and geriatrics. While the specialized focus of pediatrics, which is the medical specialty dealing with the development and care of children, did not begin to emerge in Europe until the 18th century, it wasn’t until early in the 20th century that the first well-child clinics were established to monitor and study the normal growth and development of children. With the emerging blitz of Boomers, there is a valid concern about the number of future physicians who will be caring for an aging population as indicated in a recent article entitled “Pediatrics to Geriatrics?” By Elizabeth R. McAnarney, that states,

“I have tried, I have given, I just can't take anymore. I am exhausted and feel like I am on the brink of a nervous breakdown. I have never even had one day alone in my home in 10 years.”

Departing on a recent recent business trip I was carrying a heavy backpack and pulling two large suitcases, but it wasn’t until I dropped these off at the airline counter that I felt such relief in my shoulders, arms and back.  The reprieve from the bags was so significant that for the next few hours all I could think about was the metaphor for baggage and began to reflect on the bags we often carry through life.

The calendar may officially signal springtime while many parts of the country are still covered in snow.  Nonetheless as Easter approaches, minds turn to so many bright and beautiful thoughts or as Mark Twain so eloquently put it, “It’s spring fever.  That is what the name of it is.  And when you’ve got it, you want – oh, you don’t quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heartache, you want it so!

When we think about Lent, what often comes to mind is giving up or letting go of something we truly love and feel we can’t go without.  Giving up our daily three or four cups of coffee, decadent chocolate or perhaps letting go of our mindless scrolling on Facebook may be a big enough sacrifice for many.  Sacrifice is certainly something family caregivers know about first hand.  Caregivers are often required to give up their time, their energy and perhaps even that special space in your home used for meditation and solitude. The truth is, once you open yourself up to care for a loved one, life changes and sacrifices are required.

iPhones and iPads were probably just a fantasy that only the Jetsons could have imaged in their futuristic utopia of elaborate robotic contraptions in the early 1960s.  Yet here we are in 2013 with all the latest technology providing every conceivable convenience imaginable by a mere touch of our fingertips.  What does this mean for the very much hands-on caregiver?  Ever wonder what it would have been like for George Jetson in his make-believe world to care for his aging mother-in-law?  Perhaps that could have provided us with some interesting concepts of caregiving.

Julia sat with her mom during their weekly visit.  With the diminished capacity of dementia, her mother would soon forget she had ever been there. In a moment of profound sadness and exasperation Julia said quietly to herself:

“I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.”
-- Mother Teresa